NFL Franchise Rebuild Challenge: Can Anyone Fix the Jets, Browns & Cardinals?

Why The Show Switches Formats

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, what's up guys? It's DK Sizzle. In lieu of the power rankings this week and MTP Boston, we're going to present you with a little game show, a little fun role-playing exercise that we did. We recorded before the start of the season. We've had some uh technical difficulties and travel restrictions come up as we're getting into the holiday seasons. So we weren't able to record any current NFL content, but this is NFL based, and it's gonna have a lot of different twists and turns, and I just hope you have as much fun listening to it as we did recording it. All right, thanks everybody. See you next week for our regularly scheduled programming.

Draft Game Setup And Teams

SPEAKER_00 0:56

We're gonna play a little game. It's gonna be a lot of fun. All four of us are here. Me, Dave, host, and commissioner of this game. Mike Marcangelo, Zachary Gray, Matthew Wilcox. They're all on their own teams. They're all on their own islands. So forget what John Dunn said when he said no man is an island, because all three of these men are indeed islands. And they're going to be warring with each other over the next hour over what they're gonna do with the worst franchises the NFL has to offer. Now argue amongst yourselves which three you think those are. I took a lot of things into account, but primarily how much I could hurt these men. Um Mike is now the commissioner, the sorry, not commissioner, the general manager of the New York Jets. And he has five years, six rounds, five years, to turn the New York Jets around, to do what no one else has been able to do. Zach is now the general manager of the Cleveland Browns. An equally gargantuan task to make them relevant and important in the NFL over the next five years. Matt, you guys might be surprised to learn, has the Arizona Cardinals. You wouldn't think there's something about the Larry Fitzgerald of it all and the nice uniforms and the fact that they represent a whole state that they're not the detritus of the NFL, but they are. And if you look at the situation they're in right now, I think he has an equally gargantuan task on his hands. Gentlemen, the round order has been predetermined. But I have not pulled up the PDF yet. I'd like everybody to tell me how they're feeling. Matt, are you excited to draft? Or are you make selections, I guess, uh, to improve your team?

SPEAKER_01 2:48

I just want to lead with that I've never settled Catan. I don't know how to settle Catan. So this is I don't know what is going on here. I'm gonna take some real shots at making this a better program. Um, and maybe it'll work, maybe it won't.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Alright, cool. Um, you guys feeling good? You feel like you have a good five-year plan for your franchise, Zach?

SPEAKER_03 3:09

Uh it's a Cleveland Brown, so no. But I guess we'll see, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Yeah.

Rules Credits And Commissioner Power

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Um everybody has a hundred points to spend over the next uh few rounds. It's gonna go, the order's gonna go Mike, Matt, Zach, and then we're gonna start to flip it around just to make it fair so everyone gets like a fair shot at it. Then it'll go Matt, Zach, Mike, then Zach, Mike, Matt, etc., etc. I have it written down, so I'll keep track of it. Um, everybody gets 100 credits. The game lasts six rounds. Each owner is gonna get one major action per round, and they also get one minor action per round. A major action is anything that costs six credits plus. Anything that costs five credits or fewer is a minor action, they can do both. You can punt a minor action to the next round. If you want to just do all your minor actions at the end, be my guest. Um money not spent carries forward. You can't reverse a decision once the ink is dry. Um, but if you want to pay to have it reversed, you can. I fucked this up. I'm gonna pay the equal amount of credits to get the decision reversed. Or maybe there's a way to use that against one of your friends or neighbors or or competitors, whatever, whatever you think. Um obviously you can't go below zero. Like you're once you're out of credits, you're out. Um I can reprove or reject every trade based on plausibility. And I'm willing to hear from the group. I'm I'm I'm happy to let this descend into chaos in a way where if somebody tries to make a truly great move and somebody wants to take their legs out from under them about it, that's fine. Um, I'm good with it. Um if you want the same exclusive asset, like a coach that year, a player, a first overall pick, it becomes an auction. Uh, we get into a bidding war situation. Auctions are gonna solve us most of the the problems that we have. Question from the Peanut Gallery, Matt.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

So let me let me ask you this. Um let's say somebody makes a trade, right? And it's it's a player for a player, but also you're gonna include picks on it. Can we ask you to determine how many picks it would cost?

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Yes. In fact, all the value assignings I'm gonna do on the fly that I haven't given you in the rubric leading into it. So like I can just be like, this is gonna cost this much, this is gonna be this. Um, yeah, final approval and denial comes with me, but again, I am happy to listen to the group. Uh what, Mike? Wow, you're shaking your head.

Michael Marcangelo 5:17

You know, I just don't like giving you power. That's just yeah, that's I hate this.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Well, here's the nice thing. This is not a popularity contest because I hate you all equally. Um I do like the uh I'm just a man about a quality coming. Um what do you say fuck 50 for? Um, I uh I did appreciate Mike's gamesmanship right away, being like, great job on the game, Dave. I I really I really enjoyed that. Uh just to to try to get uh uh an advantage. Uh the guy's a competitor. Um because you did this is amazing, David. It didn't give him an edge, it didn't give him an edge, it didn't give him an edge, but Zach and Matt's reaction to the game did dock them points. They just don't know how many yet.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Well, that's because you're a fucking nerd.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Um all right, I think we can get started. Uh I'll keep an informal clock. Uh I'll I'll push you along if you're taking too long. But uh Mike, you're up first.

Jets Start With Scouting Infrastructure

Michael Marcangelo 6:15

Well, I just have an opening uh pitch, if you will. Um I obviously got it right away. I can do I've been handed the New York Jets. I'm inheriting a 3-14 team, has a 15-year playoff drought, a 35-year-old Geno Smith, and a defense that finished 31st in scoring and somehow recorded zero interceptions last year. Um the good news is though, this is not going to be a complete teardown. I've got Garrett Wilson, Brees Hall, I've got a young some young offensive tackles, I got David Bailey as a major building block, and I have three first round picks in 2027. So my plan's simple. I'm not gonna buy a stadium, I'm not relocating, and I'm not gonna fucking tank. Uh five years from now, the Jets will be in the playoffs trying to win a Super Bowl. So in round one, uh my elite move is gonna be uh rebuilding the scouting department for an elite scouting department. I'm also gonna do a minor move and completely overhaul the analytics and cap department. It's not a sexy move, right? I understand that. Uh, but I'm I am spending six credits on an elite scouting department and another five on analytics, and that is because this draft is going to potentially determine the next decade of the of the Jets. That's the 2027 draft, right? There's three quarterbacks in that conversation. Uh so before I start trading picks or falling in love with someone because of his last name, Archie Manning, uh the I need to have the best scouting department in football. So, in my opinion, the Jets have spent years drafting quarterbacks. Maybe, just maybe, we should finally hire somebody who knows how to identify a good one.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

I think that's a great uh choice. I think building infrastructure is the right thing to do. I'm I'm pro-infrastructure. It's like the only good thing Biden really pulled off is that infrastructure bill. Um I think uh well winning that first election was handy too. Um but the uh yeah, I think that's a really good, very no-nonsense um move by you. What I will offer though is in real world terms, if we have identified the best scouting department available and the best analytics and cap department available, I think those guys, just to be a good American capitalist, are perfectly acceptable to go and take multiple interviews. So if anybody wants to bid on what Mike just put forward and start a bidding war about this, you're welcome to. No? You guys have different plans entirely. Zach is considering it.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

Zach's gonna blow up, blow up the stadium. I mean, not not not completely blow up the stadium, but you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Do you want it? Do you anybody want to bid going once?

SPEAKER_03 9:00

So just to uh confirm about this game here. So Mike is taking that. I so we cannot you know re-haul our analytics department or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

You can rehaul your analytics uh analytics department, but Mike is about to hire the best analytics department in football. So you will have a really good one, but you won't have one.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

So it'd be like the B tier one.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Yes, correct. Okay. The value ascribed to you doing it is now going to be less because he's chosen the A tier or S tier, or however you want to think about it. So he has the S tier analytics, I would have like unless you want to pay them more money to come to Cleveland.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Nah, no, he can keep the nerds, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

All right, different strategy, different strategy from the man wearing glasses. Um I and it seems like it's a choice for you. Like sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

So these are these are fake. These are just uh blue, blue light, uh, you know, filtering glasses. We were doing this whole game, and I'm like, you know, I gotta put the glasses on, I gotta play the role.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

So all right, good. Well, I like to paint a visual picture for the audio-only people, and uh, I need my glasses, um, otherwise I'm velmaing all over the place. Um, okay, Matt, you're up.

Cardinals Chase A New Quarterback

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Arizona Cardinals. What are you doing? So I think I like what Mike did.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

I'm not gonna copy, I'm not gonna steal his choice, though, because I have this earnest belief that I want a quarterback and I want a quarterback now. I'm not looking to stick with what my what my team has. And I've got another nagging problem on my hands where my roster is all around young, but garbage. Um, I've got Buda Baker already threatening to leave. So, what I kind of want to do here is I want to trade Buda Baker and however many picks you determine. I was thinking like a second-round pick would be more than fair for Michael Penix Jr. and get the ball rolling here young is my major pick.

Michael Marcangelo 10:37

Young, huh? 28 years old, but yeah, that's great. He's 31 years old. I mean, he is 46 years old.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

I don't know why you want to trade for a 56-year-old quarterback. I mean, if you want that just got a quarterback, he's 72. You can have him.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

He just got here, and I think he has the the stuff to get me where I'm going. He's got a real arm, he's manageable, he's teachable. And the other thing I want to do for my morning, for my uh my my my my minor uh move is I need to bring a coach with him. I need to bring somebody that knows ball to get him throwing the ball.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

Who? Okay.

Michael Marcangelo 11:08

Can we ask questions? Manning? Yep, you got it, brother. Eli Patterson, yeah. Eli Lane.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

So I didn't I didn't have like a quarterback coach picked up, but I wanted to bring like a new coach, a quarterback coach, like or a new quarterback coaching unit to come with him.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Okay. Here's the thing I appreciated your opening offer of a second round pick, but it's gonna be a lot more expensive than that. Why is it gonna be more expensive? Because you're trading for a guy, uh, uh, another team's franchise quarterback. Ah, is he though? He kind of sucks. Yeah, it's it's gonna cost you Buda Baker, your 27 first round pick, your 28 first round pick, and your 27 third round pick. Does the rest of the group feel like that's fair?

Michael Marcangelo 11:59

Or just remove the player and you know what he will actually accomplish in his career. He was what the number seven overall pick two years ago. Yeah, okay. So you're gonna need more than a uh fucking second round, dude. I think that's I think I think you guys just kind of went the polar opposite, so it's somewhere in the middle of you know, maybe a first and a second, but not two first and a third and a player.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Okay. I think that's fair. I think the group is determining.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

So what about my 2028 first round?

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Okay, and your 27 second round, and then we'll call it a deal. Deal. Okay, great. Now, the final thing I just want you to lock in is I I know you explained I want a quarterback, I want to start getting this going. What how does this factor into your five-year plan? Where are you and Michael Penix Jr. going to be in five years? Uh because Mike did a good job outlining his his five year, which I was pretty all right, fair enough. So you think that you're you're positing that Michael Penix Jr. is, if it put in the right circumstances, the man to lead you to the promised land. Well, he's one of the men of the 11 on the offensive. Well, he's the quarterback, and I don't know if you know this, but it is a pretty important position.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Pretty important position, but he's got some serious weapons already there for him.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Okay. Uh how do we feel, Zach?

SPEAKER_03 13:19

How do I feel?

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Yeah. I mean you feel like you're not worried about Matt anymore in this context. No, not really, no.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

But no, I'm I'm yeah, yeah, I feel fine.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Uh support it. But I have the Browns, so there's that.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Yeah. All right, fair enough. Um, let's let's hear what you're gonna do, Zach.

Browns Clean House And Find A Bridge

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Uh well, the Browns right now are what you call an absolute disaster, is what I would say. They are God, I mean, what are they five and twelve? So they had the best record of these three teams last year, but just their pure existence is just god-awful. When I was assigned the Browns for this game, I just wanted to kill myself. Uh they got rid of uh Miles Garrett. I mean, they got the first round pick from the Rams, cool, great, whatever. Uh, they just announced that Deshaun Watson's their starting quarterback. Great job, guys. Real nice. So we have to deal with the pervert, we have to deal with a new coach. Uh God, it's just like I they're already like staying. I I'm being given this like task to take over for this five-year plan, and I feel like I just got set back 15 years with us. So I think it sounds uh I don't know, because I was thinking about the Browns and like in terms of what other teams have done in a five-year plan that has worked. And I think what comes to mind personally would be the Patriots. I mean, they they had real bad experiences with uh the end of Belichick's tenure and then turned it around relatively quickly and somehow made a Super Bowl.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

It was like a two-year plan, really. Like once you moved on from Mayo.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

In a way, yeah, in a way.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

But so it can be done.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

So, you know, it can be done, yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

And I think it helps to be the Patriots, not the Browns.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

Yes. That's so that's another part of it. Is there's there is proof, there is proof in the league that it can happen, it can work.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Um, it's the team that did it, it's the team that all has also done things that no other team has done this. Right.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

But like I'm and I'm thinking back to the Browns, and I'm thinking, I'm like, all right, like maybe is it like tanking for a high-pick quarterback? And it's like, well, they did that for Baker Mayfield, and look how that worked out. And it's like, oh, is it another high-round quarterback? Well, Johnny Menzel didn't work out either. And all these other first rounds.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

I'd say this though, I would just argue they did it for Baker Mayfield, and that didn't work out, but that didn't mean Baker Mayfield can't work out in a better system, in a better organization. This is your show now.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

It is, you know, it is my show. So I think I think the the one of the biggest glaring things is is Deshaun Watson being the the veteran leader of that QB room. I think you would sign a bridge quarterback. And hey, a guy who's been there, a guy who has experience with a big arm, Joe Flacco, he's still available, guys. And it's not necessarily to say that he's gonna come in there and be this uh you know big savior, I guess you could say, or actually bring some skill to the Cleveland Browns. I just want a guy there, or maybe even if it's uh Jimmy Garoppolo or Russell Wilson, someone who's gonna be well which one are you? At least which one do I want? Well, Flacco's old. He's like really, I mean, he's almost as old as well.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

He's the only guy, though, what I will say. He's the only guy I will say, though, that has put together a plausible case for a guy coming back after not playing that position for multiple years and actually making a, you know, I would call it a non-negligible impact positively on his football team. So right.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

And he's and he's played with them, he's played in the uh AFC North, he's familiar with the division, he's familiar with the team. Uh it wouldn't be popular. And I think that's really what it comes down to is I think you need a good locker room guy to be there, especially if you if you think Sanders is gonna be the future at some point. I'd rather him be with Flacco or even a Russell Wilson than well.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Do you think he's gonna be the future at some point? You're in charge. I am.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

It's your popularity. I guess, right? Like god damn it. Too much pressure, man. Too much pressure. Uh man. All right. Well, that's the thing that works. I would I would love to just get rid of Deshaun Watson, but no one's gonna take that money off my hands, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Well, you can spend the points and make it happen.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

I can spend the points and make it happen. How many points is it gonna cost to get someone to take Deshaun Watson's contract off?

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Well, you just need to buy yourself out of that contract, essentially, is what you need to do to get him to fuck off if you're gonna get a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

So what's that, like 69 points? Like what are we talking here?

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Uh hold on. Let me let me crunch the numbers, but keep keep talking and tell me uh what your minor move is gonna be if you keep you on the screen.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

I would all right. So wait, what's which one's my major move?

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Is that wait, how much is that? Oh, that costs seven points. So that's that has to be your major move, getting uh Joe Flacco in.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

So that so hold on. Major move is how many points?

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Anything over six. Anything over five. All right, so any six and over, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

And a minor move is what? Anything below that more.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Four, three, two, one.

SPEAKER_03 18:17

There's like I'm looking at your your chart here. There's like a uh I don't know. There's a minute. There's a lot of stuff somewhere. There's a what now? There's a Gantt chart somewhere on page 13. Uh oh god, I don't even know what a minor move I could do here because everything's over five. Oh no. That's not true. Well, where are the little moves?

Michael Marcangelo 18:38

This is gonna be like taking fucking candy from a baby, Dave. I don't think you understand this.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Like, we're here to have fun.

Michael Marcangelo 18:46

I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

I mean, you you you just got done. I'll put it to you this way. Okay. You you just got done talking about how you want to move on from Deshaun Watson, right? Correct. There's a roster construction move you could make for four points. You could make it your minor move, and it's called a culture purge. Move on from disruptive veterans and establish leadership standards. Yes. I'm gonna charge you five points for because Deshaun Watson's contact is expensive. But if you want to do that as your minor move, Deshaun's out of the building. Yes. You've made a minor move, one of the many that are here to choose from that you didn't read. And the uh and you have the ability to uh culture purge. You did a culture purge. That's pretty necessary, I think, in Cleveland, and it's only gonna cost you five points.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

Yes. Let's let's go ahead and culture purge, yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Can I make an argument for Zach? I think you should get some points back because now the massage staff at the Browns are gonna feel more comfortable. They're gonna be working on the case.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

That's all value stuff. So the way it works is I take that into consideration at the end when uh I look at holistically what your team is. So all that stuff, all that bad juju being out the window, it's not gonna get you points back, it's gonna add value to your final score, which only I know about.

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Okay, understood. Yes, culture purge, yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Great.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Um, okay, awesome. It's can I just say this? I actually have it written down like somewhere in my notes. Don't sign Joe Flacco, that's a pussy move. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

That's you know what?

Michael Marcangelo 20:09

I think honestly bold move for the Browns, okay? But let's trade a first and a second for uh for Michael Penny, no ACLs.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

A Washington hero.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

Joe Flacco, Super Bowl MVP. I raise you that.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Fair. Yeah, that's true.

Michael Marcangelo 20:29

Michael Pennings was like 33 when that happened.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

I'm up. Yep. Okay, I have here that I'm gonna I'm gonna uh secure, I'm gonna extend all my young talent because now I've got Penix, I've got Jeremiah Love, Marvin Harrison Jr., and I've got McBride. I want to pay all these guys, make sure that they're locked up. I want these guys moving together as a unit, and I want to share up their, I want to make sure that they're all coming into their own at the same time. So I want to develop them as a young core as well. So my major move is to extend the entire young core of the offense, and then I want to uh develop the young core as well as my minor move.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

So just to be clear, you it's it's five foundational players you're going for, four foundational players you're going for? Four. Well, three.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

I just signed I just signed Penix on the trade.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

I'm not gonna extend him on the on his deal.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

I'm gonna extend love, Harrison, and McBride.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Love, Harrison, and McBride, and then I'll give you either one of Walter Nolan or Darius Robinson because it's a four-person. Robinson. Uh okay, cool. Um, so you now extended your young core. That costs you 15 points, and uh, I think that that is a good move. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

And then for my Meyer move, can I develop them all?

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Uh yeah, I think so. Uh let me look at how much that costs. It's a lot, dude. There's a lot to read. It was like the Odyssey. I mean, great, so entertaining, it's gonna make a billion dollars. Yeah. I'm at the book, but I think you could I honestly Think you could sell this game. This is like um it only costs you three points, by the way, to develop your young core. Um, okay, cool. Zach, you're back up. Backup.

Michael Marcangelo 22:08

Can I ask a question? Can I just ask sorry to derail this, but when you say develop, what does that mean? Like develop them to the value side, it means that they're rating.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

No, no, no. It just means they reach their full potential. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Which isn't necessarily true of like all young players on your team. Um, but if I'm guaranteeing that that all those guys are gonna basically achieve in my mind their ceilings, I think that's worth 15 points. Can I ask depending on your situation?

Michael Marcangelo 22:35

You think the ceiling is for Michael Penix? I just want to know where I am uh in terms of I'm I'm up next.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

His ceiling, if he does everything else correctly, I think he's still in winning uh winning a championship game to go to the Super Bowl. I think he's in that phase. If if he does everything else correctly, I don't think his ceiling is lowered from there. Um I've seen worse QBs in Super Bowls. You know, it's not it's not it's not gonna make it uh make it a preventable locked thing for you to that you're not gonna be able to challenge for for titles. But at the same time, am I gonna see Zach's team with Joe Flacco? Like I assume that bridge QB is like a culture-changing thing, and he's hopefully over the next five years not gonna try to take a 56-year-old Joe Flacco to a Super Bowl, right? So this is like it's a young guy, he's gonna hit his ceiling. We don't know what his ceiling is gonna be, but reasonably could he be the fourth or fifth best overall player on a Super Bowl winning team? Yeah.

Michael Marcangelo 23:37

Okay, fair.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Mike and the Jets are up next. You have 89 credits left.

Michael Marcangelo 23:42

Isn't Zach next?

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Oh, is he?

Michael Marcangelo 23:45

No. Didn't you go me?

SPEAKER_03 23:48

Oh, I am next. Oh, I see how this works. Oh, fine. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, you're fine. You're good. Oh boy. Tough moves here in Cleveland, guys. Tough moves. Um, so uh question on this game. So you said hire a heart coordinator as head coach. Is that like uh like are we talking like physically or are we talking like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, excellent, great. Uh I think we gotta just replace GM front office. The big thing Aren't you the GM? I am so I think the big thing is Cleveland's been talking about like they're all analytical, and uh I think Vrabel spent some time there too, and talking about how they're like praising up their analytics department and all this crap, and they have nothing to show for it. Like I think once you go like too nerdy into any sort of team or sport, you're kind of losing, you're missing the point per se of the uh of the whole organization. I mean, you don't have to go, you don't have to be Bill Belichick, dictator style, control everything with an iron fist, and everything goes through you. But at the same time, it is good to have some football guy in charge to really uh kind of make that last decision rather than looking at spreadsheets and saying, yeah, you know, maybe maybe this guy will be better, because at the end of the day, like numbers don't go in the field and they don't make emotional decisions uh on a fourth down play. So uh that'd be uh that'd be my my big move there. Um my small minor move, uh, where was it? I this was one of my favorite ones. Uh since the pervert's gone, youth football community investment. So now we can say, hey, we uh we don't support perverts. Let's go help the kids.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

I love that. Thank you. I love that. What would you call that? What what did I call it? Youth culture development? Help the kids.

SPEAKER_03 25:46

Uh yeah, youth football community investment. Uh long-term local loyalty. Again, fight the perverts.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Love that.

Michael Marcangelo 26:01

All right, Mike, you're up. Okay, so uh again, I just want to paint a little bit of a clearer picture here of what I'm striving for in the five-year outlook. Year one, six and eleven, year two, nine and eight, year three, ten-seven, eleven and six, and then twelve and five. Like twelve and five Super Bowl, that's that's what I'm looking for. So in order to achieve that, my second move, let me just preface this by saying that the Jets had zero interceptions again last season. I have seen make-a-wish defenses take the ball away more often than that. So, what I'm going to do is rebuild my secondary. It's going to be nine nine credits. Uh, we're fixing the most embarrassing part of this football team. Again, I want to reiterate zero effing interceptions. I already have Mika Fitzpatrick. I want to see what D'Angelo Pons can become. Uh, but I've been I'm gonna be adding multiple defensive backs around them. And my um I'm not making any trades. This is all gonna be draft. Uh the player that I'm watching for is uh Leonard Moore, uh cornerback from Notre Dame. So if my quarterback situation doesn't require me uh to use all first three uh all three first round picks, uh Leonard Moore is exactly what I'm looking for, and I'm targeting it in 2027. My small move.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Um, sorry. What what was what's the title of your major move?

Michael Marcangelo 27:23

Uh I I think it's rebuilding the secondary. Cool. And then the minor action is just gonna be the culture perch. Like I need to clear that room of all the negative jets individuals uh getting ready for 2027, which is when I'm gonna actually have to make a decision. And whether that is um, I'm my my my take on this is it's not gonna be coaching. Like I can keep Aaron Glenn. Aaron Glenn is a good coach. I think he just needs a good system around him and good people around him. Um, so I'm not gonna fire the coach. Uh and I think if my math serves me correctly, again, uh that leaves me with with 80 credits left uh moving forward.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Um I don't think it does. You just spent 13 points, right?

Michael Marcangelo 28:11

Uh I spent 11 and then nine.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Eleven and then nine. You can't.

Michael Marcangelo 28:21

No, no, no, total. Like in in round one, I spent eleven total, and then round two I spent nine total.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Oh, nine total. Okay, got it. Rebuild the secondary was five, and culture purge was okay. Yes, then you're right. Um okay, great. Uh Zach, you're up. Oh god, I'm already up. Am I?

SPEAKER_03 28:38

No. Yes.

Michael Marcangelo 28:40

Oh no, it it just goes back and forth, morons. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Listen, I don't want to screw anyone over here, okay? That's all.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

No, you're fine. I'm keeping track now.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

Okay. Uh, how many points do I have left or credits? Whatever you call them. That's a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Uh you have 75 points left.

SPEAKER_03 28:58

And yeah, Mike's right, you have 80. So I'm thinking, do I just go really bold and just

Browns Relocate To Hawaii

SPEAKER_03 29:09

really? I could just go really, really crazy. I'm looking at like all the pricing here. I'm looking at the highest price one and just do this. It looks really enticing because all I'm thinking to myself is if you're a free agent in football, would you rather live in the you know, Palm Beach or Miami? Or would you rather go to Cleveland, Ohio? It's kind of kind of tough to sell someone on living in Cleveland, Ohio, right? So I think we're just gonna move the franchise, spend 55 credits. Uh I mean, listen, Browns fans have dealt with it once, they can deal with it again. It's okay. So okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

One thing I'm a little nervous about is there is a special relocation rule embedded in these rules, and I hope you have this ready.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

The relocation rule, the owner must name the new city, the stadium plan, the team name, why the NFL owners would approve it, and why the move improves football operations rather than merely fringe uh increasing franchise value. Now, I think you've done number five already. I think the idea of moving out of Cleveland, improving football operations is kind of a no-brainer. I think we've all understood why that is. Mike made a point to me in the prep for this that you know Cleveland did leave and come back already. So I I am gonna need you to tell me what city, what this stadium's gonna be like, and if picture me as the NFL owners, why am I saying yes to this? They're going to Honolulu, Hawaii. That's fucking genius, actually.

SPEAKER_03 30:35

That's so good. All right. So such a good answer. There's all this all this talk about going to England, going to Mexico. You really want these guys having to get their passports, international travel. No, you have them already in the United States. You throw them into Hawaii. You already have the uh what is it, Aloha Stadium? Is that what it's called out there? Yeah, the stadium's 84 years old, dude. And Lambo's like a billion years old. You just make some improvements to the stadium.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

So you're gonna improve that stadium, you're gonna improve that stadium as your stadium plan. It's already there.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Just fix it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

You know, just beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

Thank you. And it's in Hawaii. That's the more even beautiful part.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

That's just him saying I've been to Hawaii, don't that's how his brain operates.

SPEAKER_03 31:17

I've never been into it. No. All right. So uh go go again. What were the uh the steps here in the guide for oh here it is.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

Um I just need the new city, which I have, the stadium plan which you've given me, the team name, and then why do I approve it?

SPEAKER_03 31:30

Okay, so I think for number four, the NFL owners would approve it. They want to expand, but it's obviously tough to go to another country, might be a little tough. This might be like the the um dipping their toe in the water of international expansion, just being in such a different time zone. And and and we already have Europe. We already have Europe, we already have South America invested. You know, the Germans are watching football, the British are, the Mexicans, Canadians. We are missing the Asian Asian demographic there. The Japanese could easily fly over, watch some games. You could have a shorter flight to from India, so get some folks in India. That's a huge population there, potential football fans. There's all these Asian football fans that could come over, again, India's in Asia, don't forget that. That could come over to Hawaii on a shorter flight and experience some football in a closer time zone as well. Uh so if you want international expansion without actually having to go international, there you go. All right.

Michael Marcangelo 32:33

So what is the team name? Yeah, the Hawaii happy ending. So what are we doing here?

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Well, I gotta talk about this.

SPEAKER_03 32:39

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah, culture pervert. We've changed the culture that's got no longer perverts. Like that's over.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Um Zach, hear me out. The Pokeballs, the sunken tankers, the Pearl Harbors. I don't know, the poo-poo platters. I got some options here. Poo poo platter is Polynesian, Hawaii Polynesia point, Matt. Take a point away from Mike, Dave. Polynesia.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Uh could just be surf. Do a team name.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

The Hawaii volcanoes.

SPEAKER_03 33:13

No, the Hawaii or Honolulu Surf. Just something like you know, something without the S at the end. People eat that shit up. Like, oh wow, like the uh like the Utah Mammoth. They don't have an S at the end. That's cool.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

What about this? Make a move to Disney, call them the Moanas. Make some money on the back end.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

Yeah, I'm gonna say no on that one. I'm still gonna stick with that.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Honolulu surf it is.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

The uh yeah, Hawaii Surf.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

I thought it was Honolulu surf.

SPEAKER_03 33:41

That's Hawaii Surf. You gotta represent all the islands.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

Oh, this fucking notes page. Um okay. You've just spent 55 points. You have 20 left, 20 credits, I should say, remaining.

SPEAKER_03 33:52

I don't even need all that. It's fine.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

Um great. I'm happy to hear it. You know, for the record, I've never streaming.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

I for the record, I've never felt better about my plan. I felt real like dog shit going into this. I feel really confident now.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Feeling really good. Yeah, I'm really glad you got into it. I'm really glad you're having so much fun because of me. You're welcome. Two, for someone who was complaining about how nerdy this game was, you just took us on a whole geography corner. You taught us about how India's in Asia. You're like door of the fucking explorer, my man.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

I uh for the record, I did not complain about how nerdy this was. That was the man below me in the zoom box. Maybe he's in a different area.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Uh you were like DD, what I forget what you said. Yeah, it was a comparison. Yeah, it's like DD. Yeah, it's football DD. NFL D.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

It's football DD.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh I forget who's next. Matt's next. Matt's next.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

I am. That was great. Great round. All right. Uh I'm gonna my next one. I gotta rebuild that offensive line, baby. I got panics getting ready to come. I got five years, right? Five years, and then I'm gonna stuff a football down Mike's Jets throat in the Super Bowl. I need an offensive line to get me there. I've got to go.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Zach, did you have a minor move? That was such a major move we forgot. Oh, yeah. Uh just shut Matt off. Sorry. Sorry. Uh shut up, Matt. Fuck off. Uh, Zach.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Yeah, it's such a huge move.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

I'm sorry, it was a big move that we forgot. You have another five up to five points to spend. My fault.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Uh Matt, you can get back into it in a second. You're fine.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

Uh so question uh rules question here. So you have revenue generating desperation moves. So these give me credit.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

So I can pick one of these, but I get credit in the end.

unknown 35:37

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

No, these would these give you points back.

SPEAKER_03 35:40

Right. So like I can so I can do this instead of like doing something like that. Instead of minor moves, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

And you're gonna need some money because I don't know if you know this, but like milk costs like $15 over there like a party. So you're gonna need the money. Just yeah, I guess so. I guess I will.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Man, uh I think the easiest one is sell the stadium rights aggressively.

unknown 36:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

Three credits. I mean, more than the franchise is a big home identity.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

Well, I think you might want to penalize your identity if you're a Cleveland Brown. You know, you might want to subtract it all the way to the all the way to the bank, so that's fine. Uh sell the stadium rights aggressively, cool.

SPEAKER_03 36:17

Oh, actually, uh the name I think we're gonna go from Cleveland Browns to Hawaii Rainbows. Keep the color.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Oh. That's fire.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

And inclusive of LBG TQ. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

You almost got that right. Um, okay, cool.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Great, great word. Yeah, the as I remember the football fans of America really responded well to Bud Light doing trying to do the same thing a couple years ago. So this could work. I think it will.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Zach, you got 23 points now. Uh Mike and the Jets are next. Oh, did I get it wrong by Sam Mills next?

SPEAKER_01 36:53

I was midway through my pick, but we can, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Uh because this is this is now round four? Yeah. Oh, round three. No, I'm at the button. This is Mike. Okay, cool. Yeah, so it is Mike, uh, if you look at the chart. Sorry. Round three, middle pick is Mike.

Michael Marcangelo 37:12

Oh, okay. Oh, middle pick. Uh so we're not doing it at Snake Jack. Okay, you're right. Um I'm sorry. You're right. You're the fool. You're right, I'm wrong. Sorry, Dave.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Um Matt, I'm gonna cut that part out that you were that I cut you off on, and you can just do it all over again with just as much passion. I know you have it in you. Uh Mike, go ahead. Sorry about that.

Jets Draft A QB Without Tanking

Michael Marcangelo 37:29

All right, so round three. This is this is the best. Posting is hard. Um go ahead. This is the move that determines whether anything else I do actually fucking matters or not. So Geno Smith gets 2026. Cade Klubnick gets a chance to show us something. He's a current backup, in case you didn't already know. But unless he completely shocks us, I'm drafting my QB in 2027 and I'm not tanking to do it. So as of right now, there are three names that I'm watching, Arch Manning, obviously, uh Julian Sain, and Dante Moore. I listen, uh I don't really want to decide this in August of 2026. I paid for an elite scouting department for a reason. We're gonna watch the entire uh college season, and then we're gonna identify QB one. If my QB is not available, that's when I'll use the first three uh first the three first round picks. If Arch or whoever becomes QB1 is sitting at number three, I'm gonna pick one. I'll call you, Dave, to see if that if that if that works. But my major move uh for this round is draft a QB without tanking, and my minor action is gonna be elite, like the best uh QB development staff out there, uh, which totals my points at thir 13 for the round.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Okay, great. Um your minor move, sorry, is QB development.

Michael Marcangelo 38:47

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 38:48

And you're asking to try to get what three quarterbacks?

Michael Marcangelo 38:52

Uh either Arch Manning, Julian Sang, or Dante Moore. And I have three first round picks in 2027.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Okay, let's uh put it in the spin doctor and see if you get one of those three guys. Um, it's gonna be a pretty large factor, but I think you're still gonna get you know a pretty decent guy considering Geno Smith's gonna be your QB, and you have those three first-round picks. Um and also you have the best scouting department in the NFL. You bought them. So this actually really does hinge your entire strategy right now. But I I think you've put yourself in a good position.

Michael Marcangelo 39:31

So who am I gonna get?

SPEAKER_00 39:33

You get drum roll. The tension is building while some water supply in the middle of the country gets drained while while my chat GPT premium. You pay for premiums. Okay, you did it. You did I do, yeah. Um Mike gets Arch Manning.

Michael Marcangelo 39:56

All right, so he's got the upside, all the physical tools, the pedigree. And like, let's be honest, the idea of Arch Manning becoming the quarterback who finally fixes the New York Jets, that's absolute insanity. And I think that might actually be enough to get us into the playoff picture uh for year two, which gets me that fan PR campaign.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Okay, great. Um I do think that there is an appropriate time for a little bit of a bidding war here. If anybody does want to try to trade up in order to achieve a pick higher than Mike's, and theoretically, that gets them that QB specifically. Matt, I know you're not really involved, and Zach, you don't have any money. So I don't really think this is gonna happen. But I you bet all you're at the farm on Michael Penix, but I'll give you the opportunity if you want to try to go get Arch Manning, you do get to bid against Mike right now.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

See, the reason I went the way I did is because I knew Mike was gonna steal a draft pick from me. And I knew that I had to do something creative because he's got three first-round picks. What are the odds he wouldn't score above me? And I'd end up with some shit bum while he gets Arch Manning, who's the clear, or hopefully I mean a clear choice. And just to I hate to give him credit because I I just don't like the flavor when he wins, but I think it's the right pick for Mike because like he's gonna, he's the he's the Hollywood guy. You want him in New York. If you're gonna reframe New York, you want that that look that are PR considerations here.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

Can I scam his development trait?

SPEAKER_00 41:24

Uh didn't you already buy QB development? Yes. I did. Yeah, so you already have a better team than him.

Michael Marcangelo 41:30

So well, to be clear, he he he didn't say elite QB development. He just said QB development.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Yeah, when you buy it, when you buy the development teams, you automatically get the best one. Um unless anyone wants to bid. So um but that's fine. Yours is really good too, and your QB is uh probably better than his. So the um, you know, it sort of evens out. What the fuck? Well, you know, his name's Manning, Matt.

Michael Marcangelo 41:52

Yeah, yeah. His uncle or his dad is your quarterback coach, right? So like we're we're we're good. His uncle.

SPEAKER_00 42:00

I didn't have the attached to that, but I do like that, yeah. Yeah, that's kind of fun. And also, I like the dumbest Manning that played in the NFL has two Super Bowls. Like, there's some there's there's a little there's a little juice around that name, let's be honest. Um, Matt, you're up next. You have 50 uh you have 67 credits left, Mike, by the way. Matt, you have 57 left. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Okay, so the way I'm looking at this now is uh the Honolulu, whatever the fucks, are not gonna be a competitor here.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

Hawaiian Hawaii rainbows, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

The rainbows. Um, they're not gonna be playing here. So I'm really looking five years down the line. What do I have to do to beat Mike and to make the Jets uh watch us win a Super Bowl on hopefully our own field because Arizona you know gets Super Bowls? Um and with Penix at his max capacity and with his uh juggernaut of offensive weapons at running back tight end wide receiver, um, I'm gonna go with offensive line rebuild. I need somebody to protect my guy, keep him in the pocket, keep him alive, and get this offense going. And I know what you guys are thinking. Yeah, I'm ignoring the defense. Don't worry, it's coming. But that's gonna be my move. And I think was that 10 points to rebuild the offensive line? 12. Shit. Okay. Um, so that's 12 points. Um so then for my remote. No, I got I was looking, I looked at the wrong line. This is a lot of words, Dave. It's a lot of words. Um you know what for my minor action, I'm gonna do the sports science medical overhaul. Gotta keep these guys on the field because you know you're only as good as your availability dictates. We're keeping them on the field here.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

That's really good. I I I I'm really happy that a lot of the minor action oh, sorry. That costs six points. You can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Damn it. What? Can I oh wait hold on? Uh I can save points. I can do something to save points, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:54

You can, but you'd have to wait for your minor action. It's it's the minor action. You could get some points back, but you'd have to wait for The next round to deploy this minor action than you ever spent.

Michael Marcangelo 44:02

Can my minor action next or can my major action next time be to make sure that he can't deploy his minor action ever? No. Damn it. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

Then I will skip a turn.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

So we'll see you next time. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

I'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

I'll see you out there. So you can spend now up to 10 points on your next minor action. That's what that does. Cool.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

Awesome. All right, I gotta look at that.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Alright. Next minor action. And it is the next round, everybody. Good job. Three rounds down. That went like more smoothly than I thought it was going to, honestly. Uh Mike, you kick off round four uh with your New York football jets.

Weapons Trades And The Arms Race

Michael Marcangelo 44:44

Okay, well, I have a I have another question. Um sorry. So how many did I need did I need to burn any of my first round picks for uh for Arch Manning? Or yeah, you no longer have those picks.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Any of them? Any of them.

unknown 45:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

Well I mean you offered them as like as the collateral defense. Well, I said I had five. I had three. Well, what I what I took that as is like I'm willing to spend this is my number one guy, this is my number two guy, this is my number three guy. Will this capital give my number one guy? And it did.

Michael Marcangelo 45:16

Okay. Okay, great. Uh so round four, uh, I got the quarterback. Now I just need to give the kid a weapon. Um I the way that I'm thinking about this is now I need to be aggressive. I already have Garrett Wilson who is uh wide receiver one. Brees Hall gives me the running game. Uh I got a good foundation on the offensive line, which I talked about uh before round one. So it's time to give me another legitimate wide receiver, and I'm gonna go after George Pickens. If he's a free agent, that's gonna be my call. Uh so my thought process there is obviously Garrett Wilson, Pickens, Brees Hall, Arch Manning. Now we're effing dangerous. My dream scenario, which you've already shut all over, is that if I didn't need all of my first round picks to get that quarterback, I was gonna go figure out a way to get Jeremiah Smith. But again, you poo-pooed that.

SPEAKER_00 46:06

Um you had to go get Arch Manning, right? Like, I mean, how much do you value him at? Do you regret this choice now?

Michael Marcangelo 46:12

Well, theoretically, I had to get in in the way that you're posing this to me is I had to give all my first round picks to then have a wheel spun to potentially get Arch Manning.

unknown 46:22

Yeah.

Michael Marcangelo 46:23

And you right, okay, that's great. I'm not arguing with this. Uh and then so my my my major action is sign an elite uh free agent wide receiver. Minor action is player is the player development program, which is 12 total credits.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

All right, awesome. Uh George Pickens is not a free agent in 2027, so you're not signing him under a free agency clause. You would have to try to go get him. So it's actually that's gonna cost you 12 points in and of itself. Okay. Um, which is fine, but you still have a minor action to play. Um play player development. Uh great player development. Um and that cost, sorry, are you looking at it?

Michael Marcangelo 47:03

So my total before was 12. So if you're saying that this is 12, uh-huh. Uh I think we're now up to 50 15. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Um awesome. Love that. So I should have 17. You're at. Sorry, I just double checked. Uh five for the player development, 12 for the sign George Pickens. Um, developer program will improve your chances of turning mid and late round picks into useful players, though. So don't be so mad about uh about your three first rounders. Uh, a lot of value is going to be found in your in your later uh moves, which you have plenty of. Um, okay, you have uh 50 points left, 50 credits left. Matt, you're up next. You have 45 credits, and you've banked your minor action from the last round, so you can make another minor move costing up to 10.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

In one round, I can make a minor move costing. Can I make two?

SPEAKER_00 47:55

Yes. Two fives or six and a four or seven to three, whatever you want to do. World's or oyster.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Okay. So, okay.

unknown 48:03

All right.

SPEAKER_01 48:03

Well, my major move is gonna be I need another pass rusher. I want an elite pass rusher. Um, because I just have sweat, and I think with one more, now the defense is at least. Actually, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

I I misspoke, I misspoke right there. That would make that would mean I just did some calculations while you were talking, and it doesn't make any sense. That would mean that you would be able to just bank and just make major moves as the as the game goes on. So that's not gonna work. You can make two fives uh or a five and a four and lose the point, it's not gonna carry forward, whatever you want to do. But um, yeah, the minor moves have to still stay minor moves, but you can do one up to ten if you want. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_03 48:38

Sounds like when someone tries to explain playing craps at a casino, I'm like, oh yeah, I got it. Yep. Or old it is.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

I still don't know. Yeah, crabs, it's it's definitely less complicated than crabs. I don't understand how crabs works at all.

SPEAKER_01 48:50

Uh I don't think anyone does. No, I I don't I think it's all a guess, but I'm not really positive.

SPEAKER_00 48:55

It needs to be seven this time. Why? Cuz no, no, no, no, sevens now. No. That's crazy. Why would you think seven is the right choice?

SPEAKER_01 49:05

Just let me play Bach Rock and take my money away. That's so much fun. That also seems intimidating as fuck to go.

SPEAKER_00 49:13

I know, I know. I just I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, so it doesn't seem as fun as it used to, but anyway, go on.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

That's so true. Yeah, I'm gonna get another pass rusher here. Um, I know my secondary is garbage. I trade away Buda Baker, but we're not we're trying to win right away. Um, we're trying to build something here, we're trying to build something dangerous up front in defense, and I want somebody to mash with Josh Sweat. So I'm going with an elite pass rusher for 12 points.

SPEAKER_00 49:39

Okay.

Michael Marcangelo 49:43

I don't, so I can make him minor move. Does he have to tell us what elite pass rusher is so that you can detect the other thing? He gets assigned a random one.

SPEAKER_00 49:50

No, he gets assigned a random one unless he says someone specific and it's and it's plausible. So you keep saying specific people, they've been plausible up until this point, so I just give them to you. But if he doesn't, uh I give him I give him somebody that's like a plausible person for that. I mean, elite, that's you know, we're talking about seven to nine guys. So and it's a decent chunk of points he has to spend.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

So and that's how many points is that? That's 15? 12. 12. 12. Ever written, right? Okay, and then um I guess I'm a little confused in my reaction. Can I I'm gonna do the medical overhaul here. I want to keep my guys healthy.

Michael Marcangelo 50:24

Pen X, my guys.

SPEAKER_00 50:27

Um, I have good news for you, if you have no pineapple, it won't be. I have good news for you about your pass rusher if you're willing to make this uh trade. The There's been a phone call to your office. The general manager of the Las Vegas Raiders is willing to give you Max Crosby for your 27 first and your 29 first. Now I want you to keep something in mind. You've traded away a lot of picks. Sold. Sold the deal. Done. Let's go. Okay, great. What was the second part of what you said?

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 51:03

Uh no, that's I was just gonna say that you have traded away like all your first round picks for the next three years now, but like that's totally fine. Um, you you do you do what you need to do. You're trying to win you and Michael Penix. You've overhauled your uh you've overhauled your offensive line of free agency, I guess. So um cool. You now have uh Max Crosby.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

And let me just defend that before Mike makes fun of me, and I can see him gearing up to do so. Uh let me tell you about a little man uh with the last name, Mick Vay, out in sunny Los Angeles, who did the same thing, and it's looking pretty good for him, too. I'm happy with that choice. Cool. I think it was a really smart choice.

Michael Marcangelo 51:35

He paid too much for Michael Penix, or what are we talking about here?

SPEAKER_00 51:39

Uh well faith. I mean, I think that I are you saying that the values are skewed between the two trades?

Michael Marcangelo 51:45

Because I feel like a he just said, you know, Mike, you disapprove of my choices, but a little guy out in LA, Sean McVay, did the same thing, and I'm thinking I just can't remember him drafting a washed up 30-year-old rookie quarterback and going to the Super Bowl.

SPEAKER_01 51:59

You can't remember him drafting a washed up quarterback?

Michael Marcangelo 52:02

Uh 30-year-old rookie quarterback is the important part of that.

SPEAKER_01 52:05

Well, but he's max value.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

He's a stretch.

Michael Marcangelo 52:08

With uh two two two torn ACLs already.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

Well, he did just overhaul his medical and and sports science department, so I think everybody's uh medicinal and and mental health is gonna be really good. And it was a smart thing to pair it with that Max Crosby trade because him not passing his medical is the thing you gotta kind of worry about, even though he's still elite as fuck. Um Matt, you got 27 credits left?

Hawaii Branding Ticket Prices And Blowback

SPEAKER_00 52:31

Zach and the Hawaii rainbows are up next. You have 23 seconds.

SPEAKER_03 52:35

That's right. I have 23 points or credit. Taste the rainbow. Uh I mean the defense for the artists formerly known as the Cleveland Browns was decent last year, but obviously the guy who was most responsible for that, Miles Garrett, is gone. Uh objectively, I do feel pretty good. I mean, people should feel pretty good about Jared Verse. Uh he's a very good player. Um is he gonna have the exact same impact that Miles Garrett did? Probably not, but definitely um but I mean Cleveland, like or the team formerly known as Cleveland, has they do have some pretty good names on their roster. It's just I I just feel like as a whole, they have always kind of sucked. And I feel like any team that they're gone, they're dead, you killed them. Right, right. They're dead. So I think any team that is when you kind of have like sit there and say, Whoa, what what can we do? Can it be sign a big receiver or is it this? When you kind of have so many question marks, it all kind of comes back to offensive line. I I think that's where the game starts in the trenches. It's really, you know, if you have a good offensive line, you can always get into the playoffs. I think the Dallas Cowboys have proven that for 25 years at least.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

So I think it's it's such a huge part of the reason the Bears had a winning record last year, to be honest. Like it's it's not flashy, but but you know, my quarterback went from most sacked and setting sack records to most time in the pocket allowed um in the NFL. And I I think it's really, really noticeable. And I also think there's a leadership factor in that comes from the offensive line specifically. That we I think it's a thing we didn't appreciate in our young days, in our Madden days. But I think more and more when I watch football, I'm actually starting to watch the blocking schemes a lot more as opposed to just like, oh, that guy's fucking open, fucking throw it. Um, or like, please don't throw an interception. It's watching those schemes and like really starting to understand them has actually been a really entertaining part of my like last few years of football watching. And uh those guys are monsters. So I I think justice for the for the for the linemen in general, justice for the trenches, you know, it's it's if you know how to watch the sport properly and you know how to watch the trenches, it increases your the watchability and likability of an already incredibly fun sport to watch, like tenfold, you know. So I I think that you both you guys deciding that it was a good idea to overhaul your O lines. I, you know, I I just think it's I think for me, there's a lot of value in it for me personally. And lucky for you, I'm the person who decides what's valuable and what's not. So great excellent by both you guys. Uh, you guys are both overhauling your offensive lines, and uh yeah, what else are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_03 55:12

Well, we need more credits because that brings me to what, like 11? Uh because that that was 12. That took that took away 12.

SPEAKER_00 55:20

Yeah, that was 12, so now you have 11 left, correct.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

So you can use your minor action or you can try to.

SPEAKER_03 55:25

Well, we're just gonna raise ticket prices substantially. I mean, look, your new team, new new improved stadium, and everybody's on vacation anyway. And everyone's a vacation, it's a destination. Like, it's not gonna I compare the ticket prices to when the last time I played an NFL game at the place formerly known as the Aloha Stadium. It's gonna be a big difference anyway. So you might as well jack that shit up.

Michael Marcangelo 55:50

What's the name of this arena? Like, is this the Pineapple Express? What did you rename it?

SPEAKER_03 55:54

Uh well, no, we we uh if you remember, Michael. You already already sold the naming rights. No, we sell naming rights aggressively for plus three.

SPEAKER_00 56:02

Oh, I'll let you know in a second. I'll let you know in a second who bought it.

SPEAKER_03 56:04

See, like, and and I think this is the job for Dave is that because you know he's playing God in this game, that he's basically choosing who's the highest bidder for said naming rights, and I'm sure it's gonna be something terrible, like the tamp the the Tampa Stadium or something. So we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 56:19

But yes, I what I will say, Zach, before you before you do raise ticket prices substantially, okay, I have to give you some context. Now, I I just think that you should be aware of this before you make this decision. I'm not saying it's that that this would factor into a real NFL owner or or is a business decision that you know is necessarily something someone wouldn't do. But there is a pr you did choose to go to Honolulu, Hawaii, and there is a pretty big backlash brewing against the sort of American colonial culture that has taken over Hawaii. The locals are getting quite annoyed. I think pricing locals out of coming to see these games and really making uh vacationers your primary uh fan attendance, you'll get the fan hit in value. But I am gonna add a little spice onto that hit. Nothing crazy, but the locals are not gonna love that. They're not gonna love that. And they're the ones working at your stadium, they're the ones working in the vendors' booth, and Hawaii locals, they've taken on, they've they've taken a lot of shaftings. If you're gonna participate in that gang bang, then hey, more power to you. But I just wanted to give you the small caveat.

SPEAKER_03 57:28

Well, too bad is what I say.

SPEAKER_00 57:32

Uh no, true robber baron.

SPEAKER_03 57:34

Yep. Well, I mean, look at the Raiders, right? They they were in Oakland for God knows how long, and everyone loved the black hole and this and that. And yeah, let's move them to a very expensive stadium in Las Vegas that has no cultural identity, and and the locals are kind of like, well, do we like this? Do we not? I mean, there's a reason they there's a reason why they've all really embraced uh the Golden Knights out there is because it was an expansion franchise, they didn't move them from somewhere else. Uh, so that felt like their own team. I mean, they're still trying to kind of jump on the bandwagon for the Raiders for them, and then the no one out there is gonna give a shit about the athletics. So um, so yeah, it's nothing unprecedented that we haven't seen. So raise those ticket prices, baby. Hey, if I here's a spin zone for the employees, I tell them I might be raising ticket prices. That's more money to you.

Michael Marcangelo 58:27

Trickle down.

SPEAKER_00 58:28

Or you are you are gonna pay your you are gonna pay your employees a fair wage, like compared to like the hospitality market, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 58:33

We'll see. We'll we'll see what fair means. Listen, we'll see what fair means.

SPEAKER_01 58:37

So Dave, can I ask you a question? Is there a way or because I love this game, first of all. I was terrified coming into this. Is there a way we could factor in something where like if Zach wanted to roll like a D20 here for a chance to uh uh make local ticket prices uh like short but like non-HI citizens high?

SPEAKER_00 58:58

Uh could he like do something like that? I don't think so, only because I'm fairly certain that there's um the way that you do that is through legislation. You have to get local like tourist tax incentives raised. So you basically you would have to go and lobby the Hawaiian government to say like tax the fuck out of tourists when they come in, like everything, which they already do, they're already pretty high. So that's why you're paying a lot more than locals for most shit anyway. Um I think there's parts of that that will trickle in. I love how this has become a geography conversation and a fucking like economics conversation every time it's Zig's turn. It's like he's the one who's gonna be a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 59:36

You are welcome. That's it, that's you being a good dungeon master. This is getting in there.

SPEAKER_00 59:41

Yeah, yeah. I uh it's not Dungeons and Dragons, but um the uh the it's fine. Um anyway, that's all well and good. I do have news on the naming rights. Um, because companies, major corporations heard a lot about your franchise naming before it was revealed. Skittles did pounce on buying your stadium. It is the Taste of the Rainbow Stadium. It is the skit officially the Skittles Taste Taste of the Rainbow Stadium. Unfortunately, everybody calls it the Bowl of Skittles. So that's gonna be, you know, that uh you get a fan trust penalty for selling those naming rights. That's that's that's the uh that's the the thing. So it's a minor.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:32

What do you mean unfortunately it's a bowl of Skittles?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:35

It's the Bowl of Skittles, baby. If you're into it, you're into it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:38

That sounds like the greatest thing ever. Yeah, yeah. Fan loyalty should I actually get a little boost in fan loyalty there. That's fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:44

It's not a Skittles bowl. This is a ball of fucking Skittles. All right.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:47

Well, it's like the the Angels of Anaheim.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:49

Uh it's not like that in that introduction.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:52

It kind of sounds like it is, actually.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:54

All right. I mean, honestly, I love how good you're spinning your PR for your team. This has all gone really well, and you've created such a lovely visual picture of uh of your new team. And it's honestly it's so far from the Cleveland Browns. So you've achieved your culture change. And I I don't know at this point if you're gonna win a Super Bowl in the next five years, but I think you've given the fans of that franchise a lot to like.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:14

So listen, I've given them one thing that you can't sell, and that's hope.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:19

Yeah, yeah. You can sell that. Yeah, do you remember those Barack Obama pictures where he was like blue?

Michael Marcangelo 1:01:27

They sold the shit out of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:28

Well, I mean, and then like he just drone struck a bunch of kids. So it's like you can totally fucking sell hope.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:34

I mean, like the the feeling of hope, but okay, like the physical, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:37

Yeah, I felt hope.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:38

I didn't put me on a post, put me on a poster. Fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:43

That's so good.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

All right. Matt, try to retain some tears because you're up. You've got some credits left. Round five begins.

Late Game Spending And Saving Credits

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

Let me refocus. We'll refocus here. Um, so my first year I trade all four of my draft picks. Uh I signed uh soon to be the greatest quarterback of all time, Michael Panks Jr. Sock and Mike. Uh, I got Max Crosby up front next to Sweat. I got these young studs coming into their own. Honestly, your D-line's fucking offensive line. My D-line's unbelievable. Um, and by the way, my second there is actually kind of deep too sneaky, and everyone just kind of let me skate on that.

Michael Marcangelo 1:02:16

But six bears all over again.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:19

Okay. Well, hold on though, because I got I'm gonna see you in five years, right? So for the next three years.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:24

Well, you're not necessarily put I mean, it's like you might win year two or year three, depending on like how these hypotheticals like flag out. You guys might have the three best teams in the NFL by the end of this. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:33

Maybe, but I thought we were aiming for five to be like the the win, so I may I misunderstood that part a little bit. But for the next three years, I'm staying next to the right next close, right? Yeah, I'm staying next to the cap, close to the cap as I can for my financial health, my depth, my sustainability. We are we are waiting. We are gonna build up big, we're gonna be ready to go. So I've got healthy staff, I've got my line, my D line, I've got my wide receivers, I've got my running backs, and I've got my quarterback. And now we're just gonna sit low and build, build, build. Uh so wait, what are you actually doing? Uh remain near the cap.

Michael Marcangelo 1:03:05

Yeah, that's three seasons. You assign that like a point value.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:08

Yeah, well, but I you talked over him, so I didn't hear it this time either. You said what? I'm remaining near the cap for for three seasons. Okay, got it. Uh you're gonna remain near the cap for three seasons, then you're gonna go over.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:22

Then we're we're gonna well not gonna go over.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:24

Like we're gonna underspend and build up. You're gonna pay the taxes, essentially, is what you're saying. You're gonna you're gonna oh no, the opposite. Okay. Um okay, great. What's your minor move? I'm gonna hold off on the minor move again. You can't bank twice. I can't bank twice. No, you get one bank. That's in there. Sorry. Otherwise, you could just bank until the end, and then you get, you know, you do like 15 minor moves that like we're reacting to everybody's uh.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:55

How much does that one cost though? How much is that one gonna cost me?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:58

Uh 18 points.

unknown 1:04:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:01

You got nine points left.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:03

All right, we're gonna nine points left. I wasn't prepared for that. Okay, I shouldn't have banked on that one. Let me uh you can make money back. Can I make some money back?

unknown 1:04:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:14

Help me out. That's gonna be your minor move. That's gonna be your minor move for this round.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:17

Let's make some money back then. We'll make some money back. How much is that one?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:20

All right. I can't help you, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:22

But like I'm not looking at this.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:24

Uh you can raise ticket prices substantially for plus five. You can sell stadium naming rights aggressively for plus three. You'll remember that this is stuff exactly. You get a fan trust penalty, a minor identity penalty for those. Operate below the salary cap for two years. You we can't do that one because you just did the opposite. You could trade a beloved cornerstone for up to eight points that at my discretion. You could sell future draft picks, you can't do that one. You've already lost too many draft picks. Sorry. You can uh personal seat license program, which is a fan trust penalty, that's five points. There's an international home game package that you can do for three.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:57

I'm gonna sell the stadium rights.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:02

Okay, cool. Um great. This is actually going pretty well. Honestly, I think you guys are all doing a pretty good job. I thought there was a chance, and I was fine to do it on this show because it's an evergreen and we can release it whenever we want. Um, probably within the next five years, or not. Exactly. I was like, this could be a failed experiment, like completely. Um so that's fun. Uh Zach and the Hawaiian Reds are up next. Wait, what? How many points do I have left? Can you help me out? Oh, sorry. You just uh spent 18, gained three. You have 12 left.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:36

12 left, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

Um, but that was your round five, so you've only got one round left to do to spend twelve points. So I think you're pretty I think you're pretty fastidious, to be honest with you. Um you've got 16 credits left, Zach, but you've got two rounds to operate in.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:50

16 credits, two rounds. I could get more credits back. We'll see what happens. All right. Well, matches the previous quarterback we had. Uh let's see. Sixteen.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:04

We're the rainbows now.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:05

Yeah, we're the rainbows, baby. All right. Sixteen, sixteen, sixteen. Oh man. And you said a major action is five, correct? Uh six plus. So you can up to five. Oh, it's six now.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:17

No, it's always been six, if you if you're paying attention. I haven't been actually now. One, two, three, four, five. It's mine. Six, seven, eight, and up. It's major.

unknown 1:06:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:29

All right. Oh god, I had it here. Where'd it go? Um my god, there was something. Where was it? Something about uh making sure. God, it was like a retention bullshit thing. Where'd it go? Basically, I feel good with my plan right now to have pervert out, Flacco in to help Sanders become the guy. We're going all in on Shadur Sanders.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:57

Um did you buy a player development program at any point?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:03

No, I did not. So that's that's I think what I was looking for. I was trying to find it.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:06

Shadur Sanders was our late-round pick, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:08

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:09

Okay. Just curious. He would fall into that category.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:12

But where was that?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:14

I was actually looking at it and then I got uh it's in the roster construction section.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:18

It's near the roster construction. There we go.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:20

It's right above culture purge, which you did do. I see, yes. And that's a minor move. That's a minor one? Son of a bitch. Okay. Uh but you haven't spent your minor yet.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:29

Right, but I also have like 16 credits.

unknown 1:07:34

God damn.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:35

Okay. Uh let's um wow. Let's maximize salary cap spending for one season. So that way, that way we get like weapon. All right. So that way we can convince the fans that hey, we care and we've got to bring the best players here, which again, the five-year plan's gonna say that these play these free agents are gonna want to come to Hawaii regardless. It doesn't matter. So, like, I don't need to have to spend credit to have this happen. That was the entire point of me relocating this franchise. But I think we maximize salary cap spending for one season because the pervert's gone.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:21

You're going win now.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:22

Yeah, well, like we'll we'll give the illusion that like we're win now, but it's still a five-year plan behind closed doors. Uh and then at the same time, we're still doing the player development program in order to build up Shadur because we think he's the future. We're gonna, you know, so you know, again, maximize salary kept spending for one year.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:40

Maybe it's like, you know, getting those uh it's it's just somewhat uh it's a somewhat contradictory round.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:46

Yeah, it's very contradictory. It's making sure like when someone calls into Hawaii Sports Talk Radio and wants to say, hey, they aren't spending enough, we can say yes, we are. And then when someone says that, hey, they need to develop the future, we can say, but we are. It it makes sure that we are we got all our bases covered.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:05

Well, you can also say if you're going, if you're if you can frame it like this, if you're going win now and you're gonna spend all your salary cap to get as many good guys in as you can, and you're trying to make and make your mid and late round players better at the same time, you're trying to maximize the ceiling on your later guys, on your on your on your sort of lower end guys, and you're trying to raise the floor on your best guys, right? So I can see how you've pitched it to me, and I did that by pitching it to myself. So you have four credits left, and uh Mike and the Jets are next with I don't know if you're trying to put this into a Roth IRA or something, um Mike, but you have 50 credits left, and uh I don't see you spending all of yours, but uh sorry, Zach, you had something to say.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:48

No, he 50 credits sounds like he could uh raise ticket prices and then move the franchise.

unknown 1:09:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

Uh in New York might be an unpopular. Well, actually, I pretty much are moving to Manhattan.

Michael Marcangelo 1:10:01

Yeah. Uh round five, uh I'm gonna I'm gonna get the elite pass rusher. That's 12 credits. I'm gonna build the defense around David Bailey. Bailey was number two pick this year. I have Devondre Sweat that gives me that gives me size inside. So now just give me another monster coming off the edge. So my question to you, DK, is if I just leave it at that, do you then pick? You tell me who it is, or can I say that I that I have a draft target and we're fine with that?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:29

Um you can just have your draft target, um, but it's not gonna have as much of an impact as if we if you get a notable guy, obviously, right? So I I know the impact that it's gonna have if you get one of like five guys that I'm thinking of off the top of my head, right? If you go for a draft prospect, I'll give you the prospect grade, essentially, right? Where it's like he could be this, but you don't automatically get his like ceiling equivalent, right? But uh but I've already done the all the development programs. Yeah, you have. That's true. That's a good point. Um, but I don't I just don't know what these guys' ceilings are. So you could, but I'll also, if you want, as an olive branch, I'll tell you who you would get in the trade and you can make a decision then. Okay. Because I mean it's it's not it's not unplausible that you would be like, well, we could trade for this guy, we know we could, and or we could just you know draft for this guy. Um you get Brian Burns from the Giants.

Michael Marcangelo 1:11:28

I'd rather I'd rather go the draft target.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:31

Okay, great.

Michael Marcangelo 1:11:32

Um and if you wanna if you if you wanna it's Colin Simmons, the Ed Rusher out of Texas.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:41

Okay, great. Good answer. Um so I'm gonna tell you what that guy's ceiling is gonna be according to my supercomputer here. Uh you no longer get burns. Obviously, that's not on the table anymore. You're gonna go ahead and use a dragon.

Michael Marcangelo 1:11:53

Yeah, unless unless I don't like what you say, then I'll just pay money to reverse the decision and get burns, right? So Okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:58

Yeah, I mean you see you you've put you've if you've done anything, uh, you've put yourself in a position where you can spend money to buy yourself out of a problem, which is honestly a position I try to put myself in constantly in this life. So I respect it. I respect it because if you can throw money at a problem, it's not a problem. Yeah, um here's why Colin Simmons is was a great Simmons was a great choice. His ceiling is perennial pro bowl, all pro speed rusher, yeah, 12 to 15 sacks a season, great cornering, great uh uh burst. He's a Vaughn Miller type. Um his potential impact could reach a low Micah Parsons ebb. He doesn't have the same positional versatility, but he's the leader, he's the he's the pressure leader in the SEC. This is a great pick. Um he's a blue chip prospect that's not a QB. It's a great move. Your line looks great, so does Matt's. Um so my vision is Zach's having a great time.

Michael Marcangelo 1:12:57

David Bailey on one side, Colin Simmons on the other side, Tavandre Sweat in the middle. Right? So I want a I just don't want a defense that needs like to create blitz packages. Like I just want four guys that make offensive coordinators like shit their pants every time uh they're on the field. Cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:15

Um and in this calculation, by the way, uh I was wrong before. Apologies. You only had to spend two picks to get Arch Manning, but you do have to spend the last one to get this guy.

Michael Marcangelo 1:13:25

Yeah, fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:26

All right. You still have your minor action available.

Michael Marcangelo 1:13:30

Uh I'm I'm not using one this round.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:32

Okay, you're banking a minor action. Um, great. How's everybody feeling? Uh moving on.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:41

Yeah, I'm having fun. I retract all my insults and jabs. This is awesome. I can't wait to do it for NBA season.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:49

That's cool. They were hurtful, but it's fine. Um, so at the end of round five, going into the final round. Um, Mike has 42 points. He's got a banked minor. So he's got a lot of capital. Matt and the Cardinals have 12 points left, no banked minor. Zach and the Rainbows have four points left, no banked minor. Final round order is Zach Mike Matt. Zach and your four credits, you're up.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:12

All right. You like this? All right, get ready for this one. So, major move. Trade up for one non-QB blue chip prospect. Uh, if I read the rules correctly, if I use that Rams pick, it drops the cost by five. Which brings it to only three. So I'm getting a major with only three uh three credits.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:35

But that can be your minor if you want. Does it make a difference? No, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:41

It's called value.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:45

You did read the rules correctly, I think, while we were recording, but still, you did.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:49

Listen, during, after, before, doesn't matter. Uh and then I gotta make one minor.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:55

I'm so sorry. You have to you have to pick your you have to pick your blue chip prospect. I'm gonna give you three choices.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:01

All right, give me three. Hit me, boo.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:03

You can have Jeremiah, Jeremiah Switzer Smith, the wide receiver out of Ohio State. You can have Dylan Stewart, the edge out of South Carolina, or you can have Leonard Moore, the cornerback from Notre Dame.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:12

Let's go with a wideout. I mean, I think uh Jerry Judy's fine, but I think uh you know, I think Sanders is gonna need another another wide out there to help spread the field, spread the offense.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:25

Jeremiah Smith's gonna get laid. He's going to Hawaii. Let's go. Hell yeah. Um you have one point left, one credit.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:31

Is there anything for one credit? Did you put anything in there?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:35

I don't think so. I'll double check.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:37

I saw something for two. I I don't think there's a single credit in your already.

Michael Marcangelo 1:15:42

Prostituted yourself so much you can't get in the middle of the way.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:45

Michael, we're over that. Come on. Right. Enough. Um do I get do I get points or credit? Like, so how's the score? So Mike's gonna have a lot of money left over at the end of this game. Okay.

Michael Marcangelo 1:16:02

We don't know. We don't know that.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:03

Does he theoretically, he's gonna have a lot of credits at the end? Does he get like better chance of winning this game for having credits left over?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:13

There is something that's gonna happen based on leftover credits or not leftover credits, but I'm not gonna tell you until the end.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:20

Okay, so that does factor. Oh god. But I don't but I don't know which way it's gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:25

Because I could I can tell you that. No, I'm not gonna tell you. Don't say anything.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:31

Yeah, don't say anything. So my logic here is so I can I punt on the minor move or no?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:38

Yeah, you can you can I mean you have to, you don't have any other choices.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:42

No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. I could get three credits for that international home game package.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:50

But I'm just wondering, like, is that going to be like it's no, it's not gonna benefit you to hold your one point one way or the other, no. It's not you're not gonna it's not gonna be a spendable situation. It's gonna be like uh it's gonna it's gonna factor in. There's gonna be essentially there's gonna be a uh a game of chance, and how many points you have is gonna factor into where you land in that game of chance, right? So whether four points is good or less points is good, you don't know. It might be a board of death, where if you have more points, you end up you know with a with a more horrible uh outcome, or if you have less points, you can't buy your way out of the situation. I don't know. Uh well I do, but you don't know. So it's it how many points you have at the end will factor in, um, but we don't know how. Um, so there you go.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:41

I'm gonna punt, keep my one lucky point.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:44

Cool. Um that's great. I love that. Um moving right along. Zach's done, everybody. Can we can we give a little round of applause to the uh Honolulu Rainbows?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:59

And the Hawaii rainbows. All right, the Hawaii rainbows.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:04

Mike, you have 42 credits and a banked minor allowance, so you can spend up to 10 on that. Uh two fives or one full 10. Um, and then obviously your major.

Michael Marcangelo 1:18:14

All right, so this is where my rebuild ends, right? So I have by now my quarterback should be uh still on his rookie contract. I've got Garrett Wilson, I've got Pickens, I've got the offensive line, I built the pass rush, secondary, I'm spending. Remain uh near the salary cap salary cap for uh for three years for 18 credits. Cool. No more saving money. I'm not worried about uh 2033. Like we're weaponizing, we're gonna weaponize Archmanning's contract, and we're gonna try and win that Super Bowl. Cool. And my minor move is gonna be improve game day experience.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:50

Okay.

Michael Marcangelo 1:18:51

So what am I ending with? For credits?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:54

14 points. Okay. Um which I think you said to me when we first uh oh, so sorry. That only costs five. That I thought it cost uh because I was thinking it costs up to 10. You actually end with 19 points.

unknown 1:19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:08

Um so you improve tailgating, food, transportation, in stadium entertainment, and you spend aggressively on the roster. That's the last thing you're gonna do. Um the unused portion doesn't become anything but but what you have left. You have 19 credits left. And uh great job, everybody. The uh New York Jets under under the stewardship of of Mike Marcangelo, everyone. We've fully seen his five-year plan in and fully fleshed out. And uh the final two moves now from from Matt Wilcox and his Arizona Cardinals.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:37

Mike Mike did great, but I can't root for the Jets. I just can't do it. I won't do it. Um I have a I have a problem. Do I want to save some points for this game of chance? Uh or do I want to spend them all? Uh and you know me, Dave. I'm a bit of a gambler. So I'm gonna reserve seven points. I'm gonna make my final move of the game, rebrand without relocating the Arizona Cardinals, because let's face it, this team uh is never gonna win with a pussy ass name like the Cardinals. Who gives a shit uh about Cardinals? They're an insignificant bird. Uh I hate them all. I don't like the name of the Cardinals. I did some research before the game started. There are two what I don't believe that, sorry. I did, I did. Do you know what the most predatory big cat in all of Arizona is? Other than elderly widows named Janet and Erica.

Michael Marcangelo 1:20:27

I was gonna say Eric Erica Kirk, but aside from that.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:29

It's two things. It's the Cougar and it's MILFS. So I'm gonna go with the Arizona Cougars to pay ode to all the retiree widows down there chasing around ASU boys and to their big cat, the Cougars. We're now the Arizona Cougars. Let's hear it for the team boys.

unknown 1:20:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:45

And I'm gonna save my seventh.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:48

Uh you're saving seven points, you're keeping seven points. Saving seven.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:51

Let's roll those dice, baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:53

Okay, great. Uh, I approve that. Rebranding without relocation for five points. Uh, you have seven points left. You're now the Arizona Cougars. Um, you're celebrating Arizona's native mountain lion population and also all those lovely biddies that time has been kind to. And uh you're you're doing it. Um, approved. Uh you can make one final mile move if you don't want to do it. You want to keep your seven points?

SPEAKER_01 1:21:16

Ah, Dave, I just I know you, you're a slippery devil. No, I'm gonna save the seven. I'm gonna save it. Let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:23

Okay. Fine. So here's what happens with the retained

Leftover Credits Trigger Franchise Flaws

SPEAKER_00 1:21:28

points. Everyone is gonna inherit a franchise flaw. How many points you have left will determine the size of the flaw. Zero to five credits is a minor flaw. Six to ten is a moderate flaw. 11 to 15 is a major flaw, and 16 plus credits is a severe flaw.

Michael Marcangelo 1:21:47

Yeah. God, do I hate you? That puts you guys in three separate categories.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:53

That puts you guys in three separate categories. Zach and the Hawaii Rainbows with their one credit has a minor flaw coming his way. Matt and the Arizona Cougars has a moderate flaw coming his way. Mike and the Arizona.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:06

Can I rebuild my linebackers?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:10

It's too late. Mike and the New York Jets had 19 points, so they have a severe flaw. The final things that happen to your teams. I'm gonna start low and we'll get to Mike at the end. Zach's Hawaii Rainbows with one credit remaining. After year two, Zach's offensive coordinator is poached for a head coaching job. The departure disrupts the transmission away from Joe Flacco and temporarily stalls Jeremiah Smith's development. Could have been worse. Matt's seven credits that he chose to keep. Matt's head coach and offensive coordinator develop a public feud over the Michael Penix Jr. offense. Forcing Penix to learn another system and costing Arizona valuable continuity. Mike and the New York Jets, with his 19 points left, has the colour. Arch man gets into a car accident and is no longer able to. Colin Simmons becomes an elite pass rusher, but demands a market setting contract after year three. He holds out, divides the locker room, and creates a major cap dilemma while the Jets are already spending near the limit. Oh. What? That's not that bad, actually. You lost your pass rusher for your five-year plan.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:10

His quarterback has to die, Dave. This is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:14

I lost one of one of three pass rushers. Yeah, yeah, but that was a big part of your plan. I think that's a that's a good secret.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:20

You said 16 plus was like catastrophic, right?

unknown 1:23:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:23

Severe. Yeah. And Mike was at 14. Oh no, Mike was at 19. Oh. Oh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:29

Despite the severe flaw. Dave, that's not big enough.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:31

Yeah, his QB should have died.

Michael Marcangelo 1:23:34

No, no. No, we're not doing this.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:36

This is huge. I mean, it was it was one of his first round picks. It's I won.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:40

I had to have one.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:41

Well, Matt, you didn't. Does anybody want to know the final rankings?

Final Rankings And Why The Jets Win

SPEAKER_00 1:23:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:47

In three. Not a winner in the game, but a winner in our hearts. Zach Nawaii Rainbow's best entertainment value by Flacco never becomes a credible five-year quarterback. It's not a good solution. We nobody buys into Shador. Relocation, higher ticket prices, and aggressive sponsorship. Damage fan trust to a degree that he can never really build a true fan base in Hawaii. They're back in Cleveland in three years after the five-year plan. It's uh just when they pull me out. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. At number two, Matt and the Arizona Cougars. An excellent center, uh, Pendic centered offense, and Max Crosby. Um, but the coaching feud, that is really what kind of got you at the end. You were playing to beat Mike. You saw his five-year plan and you almost did it. But the coaching feud and the enormous sale of draft capital that you needed to make to get yourself into this position, narrowly, narrowly, Matt places you in second. Mike, I'm really impressed with your football. You placed Arch Manning as a franchise QB, which made you have a better QB, probably, than both the other guys. George Pickens and Garrett Wilson created a pretty terrifying wide receiver duo. Colin Simmons did really good for three years before he had a hissy fit and left, but you rebuilt your secondary, you had the best scouting, best analytics, you had the second best player development. You improved the game day experience of your overall of your fans for their overall day. So the fans were buying in, unlike the Rainbows, when the fans were selling out. The Simmons holdouts sucked, but organizationally, you get you built up a enough infrastructure to probably survive it. You're a perennial playoff team now, and you're the New York Jets, and you have a legitimate championship upside. So you've won this game, and uh you have created a uh experience I don't think is gonna really come true. So uh thanks for playing, everybody.

Michael Marcangelo 1:25:58

I just want to say in my victory speech, you know, uh the stadium still sucks, but the Jets don't. So it's gonna be great. That was my whole entire pitch.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:06

Well, I had a great time.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:07

Well, I'm gonna say my my third place speech will be listen, the the Browns have tried everything in their entire existence and nothing has worked. So why not just move the team to Hawaii and see what happens?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:19

That's a great idea. In classic bad fan-based fashion, I'm gonna say this is all Dave's. Second place doesn't get a speech. I'm just kidding. Mike saved half of his points and stubbed his toe. Mike's coaching staff blew up with seven left. It's bullshit. Can I just tell you guys something? No, I had just to mess with Dave I said. So my second move in my fake list was gonna be to hire Pete Tegstaff because he's done so well with Iran. Then I was gonna find the cricket bowler to play quarterback because if it worked in that pitching movie with John Hammond could work here, I was gonna go Chick-fil-A Stadium as the rebrand because they're not open on Sundays. I figured there might be something there. Confuse the other team. Lights are off. Are we playing here? Um I was going David Beckham, kicker and punter. Deal with that. And then finally, when that all failed, I was gonna sell the team to Mohammed bin Salman, personal friend, crown prince of Saudi Arabia to get rid of the franchise. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:15

I gotta have Craig clip that. Um that's so good. Amazing. Amazing. I should have let you do the joke, though. No, listen, we can do this again. We can do it for the NBA. There's definitely three terrible, more terrible NFL franchises I can give you. I can give you three good NFL franchises and ask you to run them into the ground as hard as you possibly can. That might be fun.

Michael Marcangelo 1:27:37

I'll just follow Zach's transcript from this one and just repeat it.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:41

You know what, Mike? I I think that's actually a great place to end because as much as you did win the game, these guys really won the podcast, right? And I think they really they came they came for some serious content porn. So here we are.

Closing Bits And Next Time Tease

SPEAKER_00 1:27:56

Good job, Dave. That was awesome. I had a fucking great time, guys. Thank you so much for for coming. And to the listeners, I hope you had a nice time. I hope the numbers weren't too complicated, and now you know where India is. This has been missing the point.